8-30-24
| listening: |
persona music |
| feeling: |
happy! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ) |
hi!!!!!!!!!!!!! morning entry cause i'll be taking flights home
from school today, and won't be stationary until past 10pm at
the earliest (￣ﾛ￣;)
first month of my senior year pretty much over with atp,
and i'm not feeling too bad! once we get back from labor day
break we get to go to our internships and don't have to sit in
the school cafeteria (and the sweltering heat outside (＃｀д´)ﾉ)
anymore!!! hooray!! we get our assignments later today so i'm
excited to see what i get :)
we did senior sunrise this morning and it was actually
so much fun!! not specifically the sunrise part tho, my
friends and i went out to a diner for breakfast before school
since we were up so early- there is no way i'm getting up
at 5am again any time soon -v- i got french toast and it is
actually the 3rd best i've had in my life (i still need
to make my french toast blog for here... its on the to-do i
promise)
we got up to a decent amount of shenanigans at the diner,
laughing and carrying on and
making everyone put their phones in the middle of the
table for "family dinner"
which was hilarious. i brought my digicam and my roomate took a
ton of pictures (esp while everyone was eating so now my camera
roll kinda looks like i'm a stalker -_-) it's weird to back to
school now because we have to go thru the whole day still.
it really felt like a weekend! at least fridays are a
shorter schedule then the rest of the week (￣0￣)
8-20-24
| listening: |
sonic rock tracks mixed with lamp LOL |
| feeling: |
no clue! nothing in particular (*´﹃｀*) |
| doing: |
watching video essays |
hi! genuinely forgot what i was gonna talk about today but i'm
having a lot of fun watching
this video
as i write this! later today i'll need to work on college stuff
but this is making me really interested in old tech designs,
specifically flip phones, alllll over again. (♡⸃ ◡ ⸂♡) i think
i'll genuinely start looking into getting my own in the near-ish
future, maybe when i finish highschool. i just redownloaded
instagram on tuesday (YES BAD IK) however after being offline
for the most part since around the beginning of the year, i can
now say this shit is MID and BORING AS FUCK and i
don't really feel inclined to be on the app much. (green yuri
editors are really cooking tho, i've been starved of edits on
pinterest)
long story short, i think the detox worked! o(≧∇≦o)
once i graduate i want to ditch my iphone (sorry mom,
you'll have to live with the green messages you loathe so much)
and leave the social medias on my phone currently (insta,
tumblr, and youtube) and use only their web versions so i can
focus on immersing myself in the world around me.
even though my current phone usage in the social media
area is pretty low, it can still be improved.
i spend a lot of time on my phone in discord talking to friends,
reading manga saving pictures on pinterest, and spotify of
course. which isn't terrible, but can be less, yk? i want to try
and get some sort of flip phone (or the android flip cause its
cute lol) for most of my daily usage. i'll likely keep the ipad
tho, because procreate and toonsquid are genuinely so convenient
and useful i don't want to leave them behind ヽ(`д´；)/ also i
want to keep playing my periodic games of pjsk/bang girls dream
band party (or whatever it's called), meow tower, piffle ball,
and sky cotl lol
now HARD LEFT TURN because i need to talk about the new
sonic game. sonic x shadow generations. wonderful name, i
know. good job sega. JOKES ASIDE,
i'm losing my fucking mind rn. ━(((;ﾟДﾟ)))━ you mean to
tell me there's an absolutely insane collectors edition of the
game that comes with - most notably - physical copies of the
artbook, the soundtrack on cd, a dreamcast jewel case, and
A SONIC AND SHADOW DREAMCAST STATUE????????????
(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧
for the low, low price of two hundred and fifty usd. i
think the worst part of this is i have more than enough money to
my name to buy this currently, but idk if i can in good
conscience (´；ω；`) i really want to buy it though omg. i can
feel the judgement from "the powers that be" over my potential
purchase of this item and genuinely with how i've been brought
up as a person i don't think i can do it. which SUCKS SO BAD
because I CAN AFFORD IT. (ʘ言ʘ╬) i made enough money at my job
to buy multiple and
i'm not even going to buy one. щ(ﾟДﾟщ)
aughghguhdgflkiugholisujnhtrfliufd. maybe i'll get over it. who
knows.
here's a picture of the collection for those curious:
8-19-24
| listening: |
tommy feburary6 and serani poji type music |
| feeling: |
indifferent mostly... |
okay as i am ignoring my college application responsibilities
for the moment, i have time to write a real diary entry. yay!
gonna try and use more kaomoji bc tbh importing the animal
crossing emojis as i wrote was tedious and idk if i want to
bring that back as my main system. i totally will for my animal
crossing shrine but otherwise it's on the fence...
we did a t-shirt painting event for seniors today and it was
more fun than expected tbh. i did get fabric paint on my polo so
that shit is NOT coming out lmao (ﾟωﾟ；) also i won a core value
for kindness today. on one hand i do try my best to be very kind
to everyone but on the other hand it's kind of silly to recieve
the weekly title for it in front of the whole school. right
before they announced the awards, i had thought to myself
"they're not going to give them to seniors because we won't be
at the morning meetings" and tuned out and then they announced
my name T-T so i kinda just looked shocked while everyone else
clapped... a bit embarrasing ಠ_ಠ
as a whole, school is going okay so far. second week of senior
year and we've done nothing more than sit through meetings in
the auditorium all day (which feels terrible btw, tbh i'd
rather sit in the classroom without the cushioned chairs so i
can at least move around some...) so workload-wise it's not bad.
college is a whole other subject though. i wouldn't say i want
to go to college (because who dreams of work after all) but i
need to make money and i need a degree to do that in cyber
stuff. so off to college i go. applications are so annoying
cause they ask me questions like i'm gonna get married to
someone. why do you need to know all this man!!! (i do
know why but the application process is so tedious, and i'm onlt
doing common app rn) plus i am so cooked in the funds department
:'D i'm certainly lucky to be where i am now bc i know i'm very
well off thanks to my parents jobs, but i pretty much fall into
the "parents make enough money to not qualify for fafsa but not
enough to put three kids through college back to back" category.
honestly, even if it was just me going to college i think the
costs are most of a yearly income so it's still not really
achievable. my test scores and grades should get me decent
scholarships, but if i were to get into MIT or something i am
so done for. last i checked that was ~70k USD a year and
i don't even have an act score in their average range. everyone
there is at a 35-36 and i'm at a 31 ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ realistically i
know that my score is fine and i can get into most schools i
want to but tbh i can't help feeling a little dumb. plus a
sizable amount of my friends made higher on their first take of
the act without even studying and that's the
result i get after 7+ takes of the act. frustrating stuff!!
if only i was better at math... (;_;)
ignoring depressing college stuff, i can say that while i don't
dream of work i do dream of my
perfect apartment life!! of course i would rather have a
house but in this economy? that shit is NOT looking promising
lol. i do have dreams of great success and love and life and
hopefully i can achieve them because if i don't that will cause
some other problems (ﾟωﾟ；) if i'm being completely honest, my
ideal life probably looks a lot like what's displayed on
annika's vlog series
which i've been super into ever since i stumbled upon vlogging
videos freshman year. i don't think i've really been into
keeping up with a youtuber before her tbh, her videos just feel
so calming to watch and even though many things are idealized
online she does show everyday mishaps that make her videos just
that much more entertaining and inspiring to watch lol. vlogs
and baking videos have become a big part of my weekly routine
because they're so calming and give me something to look forward
to creating for my future! （*＾ワ＾*） honestly, if i was able
to keep a nice apartment with someone i loved and work a job i
didn't hate but still make enough to live comfortably off of
with decent vacation options and things like that, i'd be set.
for some reason that feels like asking for a lot
though... （ꐦ𝅒_𝅒）
might start making writing here a part of my nightly routine so
i have at least some archive of my thoughts? but for now i need
to get ready for bed so adios :)
8-18-24
| listening: |
visiting hours - kero kero bonito |
| feeling: |
concerned about catching covid from my friends
(again -_-)
|
hi i don't actually have much time to write today, so this is
kind of a placeholder thing bc i really need to go to sleep. may
come back and school and stuff. we'll see. howdy to anyone
reading this. idk i never say howdy. i'm going to go to sleep
now -v-